Military

I am so thankful for those who serve and who have served for our country.
That being said, I recently read an article about a veteran who lost her dog and then recently found it. There was media coverage and a massive following on Facebook; it was huge.

I want to say that I am glad she found her dog that was stolen. BUT just because she is a veteran does not make anyone who isn't a veteran who lost their pet any less important. I lost my cat, as you know if you have been following since August, and it is completely heartbreaking. When I see things like this in the media and people saying "she deserves it, etc" I have to agree. But so does everyone else who lost or had their pet stolen. Even those who have had their pets die deserve closure. I feel like I deserve to find out what happen to my cat just as much as that veteran.
Again, I don't mean to offend but the point I am making is that losing an animal hurts; it hurts just as much as if you served our country and just are trying to put yourself through school.

One night

Last night was the first night in over a month that I did not go look for her. It was hard and I felt so guilty but I need to start moving on. I absolutely love her but I cannot do this forever. I don't know what else to say...but I just wanted to say something.

Loss

I think one of the hardest parts of losing her is having no one to talk to. Whenever I get emotional about it, S gets upset at N because he is the reason she got out. I was mad for awhile too but that got me nowhere...now I am just trying to figure out how to grieve. Every time I try it starts a fight. If I show my emotions in front of anyone else they won't know how to react and will just stare.
This sucks...I sit alone in bed at night and look at pictures and videos. There are some things that I don't even remember. It's times like these that I am glad that I recorded everything. I never want to forget the way she said hello to me As I walked in the door; or the way she would eat food from the container even when I just poured her some fresh food in her bowl; or the way she would know the difference between my first alarm and the one that goes off after I hit snooze; or the way that I was the only one that knew when she had enough pets...and even when I got the extra 6 pets in, she didn't sratch me.

I just hope for the best for her-whether she passed away, ran away, or found another place to call home.

Glory and Diana

I hired bloodhounds to find my cat. While they did not find her, they found a clump of fur that I got tested. It was a match to hers. I do not know what happened to my cat; I just know that I did not deserve this. Kitty was most likely run over by a car and the car either took her with it or she crawled somewhere to die.

Either way, I am left without my cat; without my baby.

People who are worse animal owners should have their pets taken away from them, not me. I gave her everything and I loved her to death.
I am so upset that I will not see her again...this isn't fair.

S had Meiko, and I took care of him when he was going to take him to the shelter. N brought home
Kitty and I took her in and loved her and took care of her.

I guess I should just be happy that I had the best two years with her.

Missing.

It's been one week.
There are so many things I can say:
I did everything I could. It is not fair. I gave her everything.
But all of these things cannot change the fact that she is gone.
My heart aches and I am left with less and less hope each day. She may come back. She may be alive. She may be dead.

I don't know how my baby is doing. I just wish this pain would go away. I just wish she would come back home.

Relationships

I wonder, is all the hassle really worth it?
The fighting.
The yelling.
The storming out.
The disagreements that never find middle ground.
The unfairness.
The stubbornness.
The learning how to give in.
The storm.
The calm before the storm.
The laughs.
The memories.
The hugs.
The kisses.
The hand holding.
The life you build together.
The first apartment.
The surprises.
The doing things for the other person, even when you don't want to...but seeing them smile makes it all worth it.


So yes. It is.

Wanna know what grinds my gears?

Waiting 20 minutes to get in the freeway and having people cut me off right before I get on.

No! Not okay!