Loss

I think one of the hardest parts of losing her is having no one to talk to. Whenever I get emotional about it, S gets upset at N because he is the reason she got out. I was mad for awhile too but that got me nowhere...now I am just trying to figure out how to grieve. Every time I try it starts a fight. If I show my emotions in front of anyone else they won't know how to react and will just stare.
This sucks...I sit alone in bed at night and look at pictures and videos. There are some things that I don't even remember. It's times like these that I am glad that I recorded everything. I never want to forget the way she said hello to me As I walked in the door; or the way she would eat food from the container even when I just poured her some fresh food in her bowl; or the way she would know the difference between my first alarm and the one that goes off after I hit snooze; or the way that I was the only one that knew when she had enough pets...and even when I got the extra 6 pets in, she didn't sratch me.

I just hope for the best for her-whether she passed away, ran away, or found another place to call home.