Photography

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Is today pick on Syrena day?"

Do I...

It is a name!!!

Yarely!!
yay!!

Old friends.

I messaged an old friend tonight.
She's doing good.


The thing is, I used to not like this friend.
Actually, I didn't consider her a friend anymore.
I don't consider her one...I know that seems mean.
But I still don't trust her.
She still makes me laugh.
She's kinda still the same.

It feels good...
A good feeling.

Take me to the bathroom.

"Take me in the bathroom
Take my clothes off
Make love to me up against a dirty wall
'Cause I can't wait to get you home
Take me out the back door
Take my clothes off
Make my love to me against somebody's car."

I had a weird dream-I don't remember it though.

Yesterday was fun:]
The chicken wasn't that bad.

Walk.

Today I got in a fight with Joe.
Today I went for a walk.
For the first time, I actually left and went for a walk by myself.
It was relaxing.
And enjoyable.
I tried to call you but no one answered.
I don't like fish, I'm very scared of them.


I ended up at the park.
I sat.
And thought.
About nothing.
Then I went home and my mom said she was scared.

TELL ME!

Tell me I have nothing to worry about!!
AND MEAN IT!!!

Tell me....


And I wouldn't.

Reminisce.

Someone asked me today if I'd ever be friends with someone I knew before agian. I said no. I really wish I could be. I really do. We were best friends, honestly. But I can't...I'm sorry..I don't..I wouldn't be able to trust you and I don't like the drama that you came with...wow, that sounds mean...

- - -


You may ask, "why talk to him and not her?"
My answer "I don't know."
You may stare blankly...
I'll think about it....
*I'm thinking*

I will talk to him because...


He didn't take you away from me.


Honestly, I was jealous of her...because you chose her..

Post Secret...

Junior.

Today was my first day as Junior. Excting. My teachers are fine. My classes are fine. Everything is fine. At lunch, I walked around with Jade. That was fine. I miss last year. Us three, The Three Blind Mice-my favorite. I can't remember the rest. I can't remember the last time that I was at the slab with you two. Those were good memories. Memories I won't forget, although it's hard to believe with my horrible memory. I miss you guys. High school isn't the same but I knew it wouldn't be. I'll be okay though.
I love you Big Brother.
















I love you Alfonso.

My knowledge of Words

has been taken away from me. It seems I don't know what I want to say or if I do know, what words to say..
You see, I cannot explain this sentence above^ It does not make sense...
I feel like throwing up..or something.. I don't feel well.
TIme is being taken from me and my life in 40 or 50 years will come to be non existent. I don't know what I will accomplish while I'm on this earth. I want to be a mother, a wife, a grandma, a pet owner, a baker, an artist, and photographer. There is so much I want to do and so little time to do it. I've spent already 14 minutes on this blog, writing what I wish, erasing mistakes, and just different things. The thing is, this blog is probably a waste of my time...The only ones who read this...well I don't have anything to say about them..It tells people what I feel-sometimes. It tells people what I've done-sometimes. It tells stories-sometimes.

I remember when I was little I used to visit my dad every Wed-Thurs. Then I'd see him on weekends. This one weekend, when he lived in the "San Miguel House", I was walking around in my tiny princess shoes and i started going outside. Something happened, I tripped or landed on my heel wrong, and I ended up bleeding. I started to cry-only when I saw the blood. I can honestly say, after this incident, I didn't wear those tiny princess heels.

I look at the picture on my wall and I notice, I can't remember any of these times...not one..It makes me sad because I forget everything so easily and bluntly, it sucks.

For the first time, my rings are bugging me while typing...

Bah, humbug.

I've been trying to go to sleep since the first argument around 10:40ish...I can't sleep nor can I spell anything correctly. I have had to erase this post about 10 times already. my stomach hurts and I cannot sleep. Lovely. Im done...I dont even know what else I want to say.

I wish...

that I made you really, really happy.
Not just really happy, truly happy...

The words I couldn't ever say...

This is for someone who I haven't talked to in awhile:
I think you are a really mean person. You have some issues...really. I was jealous of you until i realized how insecure you are. What you did was messed up. I'm not going to say none of it was my fault, that'd be a lie. Part of it was my fault. I trusted you and then you did some messed up things. I'm better without you..honestly....I won't forget the laughs we had, those were fun-wheb you were truly genuine. I won't forget the taco tuesdays and the sta memories and the shopping cart we rode in. Those were good memories..but if I'm being honest, I don't want those days back. NONE of them.

This is for someone who I used to be in love with:
Dear boy...Dear, dear boy...you meant everything to me...oh you did. I really don't know how I could be so stupid though. I believed your lies and it hurt to know that you did it. The memories we have shared were good ones, I'll remember alot. Mission beach, movie every weekend, hanging out with each others family. I, also, don't want any of those days back. Our relationship was in the past...it's over. It was nice, really. I don't want to be with you though, not in the future...you hurt me too much. When
I told you I loved you...I really meant it.

This is for someone who has been nothing but an amazing friend:
You have been there with me through everything. The "slab" at lunch was a great place to eat because of you. My first two years of high school were SO enjoyable because of you. The best part of this is that so will my last two years. You are my date for prom and I can't wait!! I have told you everything that I have been through and thank you for not judging me..Thank you so much. You really are my best friend and I can't wait to have so many more amazing memories with the awesomest drawerer EVER!! I love you, My Best Friend.

This is for someone who I dream of:
My love...Ah :] You make me so happy. You make me so angry. You make me feel every emotion possible. We have gone through so much and I am so happy you love me. I'm in bliss when I look down at my left hand. I hate when we fight, it scares me. I don't know what I'd do if you left. I'll be here when you get back, with a ring for your finger, that fits :] We will make it through whatever problem we come upon. As you now know...No matter what happens in the next year I will love you. I am madly in love with you and honestly, no one has made me feel the way you make me feel. No one makes me smile so much, think so much, give me so many butterflies, and whenever I think about our relationship, I smile. I love you darling.